I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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