I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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