i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
