somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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