weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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