I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
