my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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