If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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