he told me I talked like a deaf person
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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