I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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