She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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