At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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