you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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