U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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