I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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