now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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