Grow some girl-balls and come out already
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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