Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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