my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
