I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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