Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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