THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
A bitchslap is in order.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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