remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
