My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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