she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
