I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
