She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
