On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
