You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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