haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
do nipples grow back?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
