he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
