Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
