you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
