dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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