no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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