Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
