yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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