For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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