just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
pop tarts are not kleenex
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
