my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Randomize
