4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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