There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
