why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
