I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
