...so i touched it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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