so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
