So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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