we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
