I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
