you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
