It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
