I showed him my bush... on skype.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
