He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
