Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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