I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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