Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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