Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
