Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
