so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
