tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
