she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
