Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize